An Update from the Front Lines in Personal Sanctification

Lessons in Holiness

The Worst of Sinners

The further I’ve gone along in my personal sanctification journey with the Holy Spirit, the more I realize the depth of my sins before an absolutely holy God. Months ago, I watched a sermon from Pastor Jack Hibbs of Calvary Chapel Chino Hills where he explained that the closer one gets to God, the more acutely aware they become of their own inadequacy and spiritual poverty.

This was true of the apostle Paul. 

In his earliest letter to the Galatians, written around c. 48 AD, Paul described himself as totally equal to the other apostles. About five years later in the first letter to the Corinthians, he described himself as “the least of the apostles”. When you fast forward another six years, you’ll see that when Paul wrote Ephesians in c. 62 AD, he was “the least of the saints”. Lastly in one of his final letters to Timothy, he described himself as “the worst of sinners”.

By personal experience, I find that to be totally true in my own short journey as well. I am certain that I have taken that last title from Paul! I truly am the worst of sinners.

You might feel that way too.

But the purpose of this enlightenment is not to cause us to shrink away in despair. 

Awareness of Weakness is a Gift

God intends for His light to show us how great our need is FOR HIM.

Oh, how desperately we all need the Lord Jesus! 

Why it has taken me so long to recognize this great daily, moment to moment need is beyond me. I’m a slow spiritual learner, I guess. The irony is rich for me personally. I have prided myself my entire life on being hyper intelligent. Yet it is this very leaning to my own understanding which makes me so very vulnerable to the enemy’s attacks and deception. 

Just the other day, I realized what a precious gift it is to know how much I need Jesus.  Without Him, I can do nothing.

Believe me, I have tried to do things on my own. Repeatedly.

It just doesn’t work.

My Personal Sanctification Journey

Two years ago, I was under total deception. 

The trajectory my life was on was not leading me anywhere near eternal life, but rather the total opposite. It was a mercy that God shook me awake to the truth, and turned me away from the counterfeit version of Christianity that abuses His grace. 

I was not looking for God. Honestly, I thought I already knew Him. 

The lie that I had already grasped everything that I needed to know was front and center in my arrogant and overconfident stance of all things spiritual. 

Truth be told, I did have an unusual amount of scriptural knowledge, but it was all of an intellectual nature. It didn’t involve my heart at all. And yet, the word of God makes it crystal clear that it is with the heart that one believes in God and on God to appropriate all of His precious promises.

Even though I was a hearer of the Word and not a doer, I somehow allowed myself to be deceived into the belief that everything was fine and would end well with me. I had a form of godliness, but the power of God was absent in my life.

My awakening brought me to my knees in terror and desperation. That’s what it took to get me to call on the name of the Lord in sincerity. There was no other option.  

I had to seek salvation. And not salvation in an eternal sense, but salvation from the immediate danger I was in when my shaking occurred. 

When the veil between this world and the next tore open, I became acutely aware of what it means to sow to the flesh. I was brought low and began to feel deep shame over the pitiful condition that I found myself in. 

But God is gracious.

Still after a year or so, the pride so deeply rooted in my heart began to raise its ugly head once again, and I raced headlong into the other counterfeit version of Christianity that abuses His people through unrighteous judgment.

First I suffered from a lack of holiness. Then, I suffered from a lack of love.

God has been feverishly restoring both to me.

The Truth and Nothing But the Truth

I’ve been largely absent from social media these past few months for a number of reasons, most of which have been painful lessons I’ve had to learn in the wilderness. 

I’m back on because I’ve decided that it is time to tell the truth with no holds barred about my experiences with the Lord: what I’ve had to battle against (mostly myself), and the hard won lessons that have just barely penetrated my hard-headed skull.

My prayer is that God will use my willingness to share the unfiltered version of my journey with whoever comes across my writing for total transformation and freedom. 

God’s Purpose in Pain

God is such a compassionate and loving Father. As it is in the natural realm, some of God’s children require more straightening out than others.

Some of you are already in your season of shaking. For others, a shaking may be coming to you soon.

Whatever situation you find yourself in now or in the near future, know that God’s love is unconditional. He disciplines the ones He loves.

If you are under pressure or affliction, God’s only motivation is love. To turn you toward Him so that He can supply and be all that you need: Your Friend. Your Counselor. Your Provider. Your Lord.

His invitation is open to us all, “Come unto me. Abide in me”.

It’s the only way.

So, that being said, I am going to open up my life like a book. If all you learn from my testimony is what not to do (of which I am an avowed expert), it will be well worth your time in your pursuit of God!